Jonathan Lung
How
to improve my Food Blog Proposal
After
the peer review on Monday, I had several comments made by my partner in English
class that suggested ways to improve my food blog proposal. First, he suggested
that I try to avoid the use of “I want” and “I plan” too many times throughout
the proposal. I will try to incorporate that idea since the proposal is already
understood to be my plans and goals for my food blog. To repeat “I want” and “I
plan” throughout the food blog proposal will just create unnecessary
repetition. My partner also commented on how I did not name my food blog in my
proposal. A name is vital as it is usually the hook to draw people into reading
anything in general. I will add a title to my food blog proposal, which will be
“Beer, Wine, and the Cultural Significance.” Another comment he made was to
provide a clear understanding in one of my closing statements. Since I wrote “we
can progress further” with no other context, I will revise the sentence to make
it more understandable and clear as what I am trying to say. Finally, he wrote that
my food blog idea was interesting and loved the direction I am going. With that
compliment, I will continue to strive forward to learn more about my topic and
present it with passion in the future.
I think your current title does describe your project; moving forward, you may want to consider thinking about a more "catchy" or unique title, however, in order to "hook" people (as you mention). Solid reflection overall.
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