How to Eat Eggs Even if You Hate Them: Pork Chops and Eggs

Jonathan Lung

How to Eat Eggs Even if You Hate Them: Pork Chops and Eggs

            Lets get the record straight: I hate eggs. I never liked them since birth. No matter how I tried them, I would always despise eggs. All types of eggs are disgusting to me. Yes, the “an oval or round object laid by a female chicken” straight out of the Oxford Dictionary type of eggs has never been my favorite. Except for one dish: Waffle House’s Pork Chops and Eggs with double hash browns. The way I eat eggs and the rest of the meal is very precise and systematic.

1.     First, you must make sure you have all of the food: two toast cut in half, scrambled eggs, two pork chops, and two servings of hash brown. Yum!

2.     Second, you must carefully place the eggs on one of the sliced toast.

3.     Third, apply Tabasco sauce and ketchup on the eggs. You are free to use whatever hot sauce you want as long as it covers up the egg taste and smell.

4.     Fourth, place another toast on top of the eggs and take a massive bite.

5.     Fifth, you repeat this process with the other slice of toast with the remaining eggs. All of the eggs must be finished with the toast, Tabasco, and ketchup.

6.     Sixth, finish both pork chops.

7.     Seventh, apply salt to the hash brown and enjoy every mouthful.

8.     Bonus step: order waffle, apply butter and syrup evenly, cut it into quarters, and finally eat it with joy.

This is how I eat eggs at Waffle House. The waffle, pork chops, and hash browns are there to drown out the egg flavors if the ketchup and Tabasco doesn’t do the job initially. By applying this method, I have multiple fail-safe flavors and saved the best for last. This is perhaps the only way I can successfully eat eggs without feeling queasy.

            My father taught me to eat eggs that way. We would often go to Waffle House after closing the restaurant at night, which is around midnight when we would eat dinner. I would normally just eat hash brown and refuse to eat anything else. Finally my father devised a plan to get me to eat eggs by making a bet that guarantee that I would lose. As a result of losing, I had to eat the eggs with Tabasco and ketchup between two toasts, and history was made. This tradition continues to resonate with me to this day. Who could refuse a Tabasco ketchup eggs with crunchy toast, peppered pork chops, and salty hash browns with an occasional freshly golden baked waffle with creamy butter and sweet syrup? I know I can’t.